6 Teams, 3 Spots: Understanding Week 17 For Dummies and Browns Fans

Welcome to NFL Week 17 Sunday, w most of you have been waiting for all season long. Destiny’s will be fulfilled, Dreams will be crushed, and teams who’ve fates have already been revealed can spoil the course of football present for some unfortunate franchise. 9 Teams have already locked their spot in someway or another, while 17 franchises have come to accept that today ends their 2017 season. By 8:00 PM (Which is early, but unfortunately necessary because no matchup is guaranteed to be meaningful no matter the other outcomes), we will know who is playing who during next week’s Wild Card matchups, who’ll be getting a beneficial rest for the upcoming matchups (technically only 1 other team has not yet be determined for this. Patriots, Steelers and Eagles have already clinched their respective “winter break”), and which fans will be jumping ship in January for their respective playoff bandwagons. I’m not going into seeding for teams already in the postseason because honestly very little changes between 1 and 2, along with 3, 4, and 5. There are small advantages in those groups, but nothing the average fan needs to concern themselves with. I’ll be covering the Ravens, Titans, Bills, Chargers, Falcons, and Seahawks scenarios and potential outcomes. I’m not including ties in these outcomes because it’ll be unlikely you’ll need to know the scenarios. News Flash: Teams Don’t Play To Tie, They Play To Win…Or Draft.

If a tie becomes a reality in any of these WC scenarios, I’ll apologize and cover it on Twitter (@UltimateFumble) to make everyone aware of the possibility. If 2 outcomes mentioned apply, the more detailed outcome and/or the outcome listed higher on the team’s respective list applies. Here We Go.

NFC

Atlanta Falcons

Win Vs. Panthers: 6 Seed

SEA Loss to Cardinals: 6 Seed

None of Above Happens: It’s 28-3 All Over Again, As It’ll End the Season in Disappointment.

Seattle Seahawks

Loss to Cardinals: Legion of Losers, Season’s Over

ATL Beats Panthers: Intercepted at 1 Yard Line, Season’s Over

None of Above Happens: 6 Seed

Was That So Hard? Didn’t Think So. This is Basic Math Compared to the AFC. Ready, Here We Go:

AFC

Baltimore Ravens

Win vs Bengals: 5 Seed

BUF Loss To Dolphins: 6 Seed

TEN Loss to Jaguars: 6 Seed

BUF Loss + Ten Loss: 5 Seed

None of Above: 2017 Season, Nevermore

Tennessee Titans:

Win vs Jaguars: 6 Seed

Win + BAL Loss: 5 Seed

BUF Loss + LAC Win: Just 1 Yard Short, Season’s Over

LAC Loss + BUF In: No Miracle For You, Season’s Over

BUF Loss + LAC Loss: 6 Seed

Buffalo Bills:

BUF Loss To Dolphins: Fish Squished You, Season’s Over

BUF Win + BAL Loss: 6 Seed

BUF Win + BAL Loss + TEN Loss: 5 Seed

BUF Win + TEN Win + LAC Win: Make That 18, Season’s Over

BUF Win + TEN Loss + LAC Win: You Did This To Yourselves, Season’s Over

BUF Win + LAC Loss + TEN Win: Damn You Mariota, Season’s Over

BUF Win + TEN Loss + LAC Loss: 6 Seed

Los Angeles Chargers:

LAC Loss To Raiders: Black Hole Sucked You In, Season’s Over

TEN Beats Jaguars: Rams Win LA’s Conditional Love, Season’s Over

BUF Win + BAL Loses: I’m Sorry To Tell Your Paid “Fans”, Your Season’s Over

None Of Above Occurs: 6 Seed

That’s The Best I Can Do, So Enjoy Your Week 17, Happy New Year, and By God Please Buffalo End The Drought!!! Oh Right…I just explained how they don’t control their own destiny. Well, in that case, Don’t Blow It.

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