Breaking Down the Amazing (and Pathetic) Divisional Round Weekend

Featured

We are down to 4 teams going into Sunday’s Championship Games, and 3 of the remaining 4 teams have QB’s no one guessed could be Super Bowl Championship. Nick Foles, Blake Bortles, and Case Keenum have an opportunity to make their mark on NFL history as a Super Bowl winning QB. Either that or Brady wins again, yay…(Punches 3 holes in wall and scream a horrible curse word at 2 AM in the morning in college apartment building). Before this Sunday’s matchup, let’s go over how we got here in this week’s breakdown.

Atlanta Falcons 10 vs. Philadelphia Eagles 15

Seriously Atlanta, you probably have the easiest of the NFC playoff teams because their would’ve been MVP candidate QB is on IR and you managed to lose by only scoring 10 points. Didn’t you have any offensive fire power in Matt Ryan, Julio Jones, and Devonta Freeman. Even you secondary options include Tevin Coleman and Mohamad Sanu. Teams would kill for this kind of talent and you scored only 10 points. Shame on you Falcons. I really don’t want to see the Eagles make the postseason, as I think they’d get run over by the AFC representative. By the way…

Tennessee Titans 14 vs. New England Patriots 35

This looked like an upset in the making for all of 1 quarter, and then New England dismantled the Titans for the rest of the game in this embarrassing end to the Titans season. I’m all for upsets in the postseason, but there are certain teams that have too many flaws to make a deep run. This means that a Wild Card upset by one of these teams will lead to a game like this later down the road. This Titans team didn’t have the talent to even have a chance to survive New England or even half of the playoff field. Kansas City did, which makes this result disappointing from a postseason standpoint. Well it looks like we’re going to get Patriots vs. Steelers like everyone expected, BUT WAIT…

Jacksonville Jaguars 45 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers 42

TJ Watt is never going to hear the end of this from his brother. The Jaguars are in the AFC Championship game, lets just think about that for a second.

That’s how weak the AFC has been all year, and hopefully the draft will help create more contenders in the mediocre conference. But back to the Jaguars, credit goes to the Jaguars Defense and Leonard Fournette for putting pressure on the Steelers early and often. They made Ben Roethlisberger need a perfect game and while his numbers were outstanding (469 yards and 5 TDs) his two turnovers led to points that decided the game for the Jaguars. I hope Jacksonville puts up a fight against New England, as only Patriots fans want another Patriots Super Bowl. This upset would’ve been the top story of this weekend had it not been for…

New Orleans Saints 24 vs. Minnesota Vikings 29

HOLY CRAP WHAT AN ENDING! MOVE OVER (insert relevant plot driven TV phenomena here) AMERICA’S MOST SURPRISE ENDING GOES TO THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS. In a game the Saints seemingly locked up with a late TD, it was 3rd and 10 on the Vikings 39 yard line with 10 seconds left when the Saints Defense completely blew their coverage on a Stefon Diggs catch and that set up him to go the remaining distance with no one threatening to stop him. Its important to note that if they didn’t blow the coverage, Diggs would’ve likely have gotten out of bounds to force a 50 yard field goal, so even doing things right might’ve led to a similar outcome.

Watching Viking Fans React to this is Amazingly Funny to Watch.
Watching Saints Fans React to this is Even Better.

Case Keenum is likely our best hope for a new champion this season, and with the Vikings fan base suffering for as long as it has I absolutely root for the Vikings the rest of the way through. Now do what Matt Ryan and his high powered offense couldn’t and beat the banged up Eagles for a first time Home Field Advantage in the Super Bowl.

Breaking Down The Ultimately Meaningful Week 17 Games

Featured

Happy 2018 everyone. The 12 postseason teams have been decided, along with matchups and start times for each game in the Wild Card Weekend. I will post “Obituary” of every Non-Playoff Team on Friday (1/5/2018), along with predictions for these important Wild Card Weekend games. Fun Fact, we technically have a 1/3 chance that a team that went into the year suffering a long playoff drought will leave this year with a championship. Those odds will likely change negatively over the course of the next week, but we’ll see what happens. For now, here is my Week 17 Breakdown of 2017.

Other Games Important Notes

  • Jets couldn’t even come close to keeping up with the Patriots, as handed them the 1 seed in a brutal blowout.
  • Browns went 0-16 after a Corey Coleman drop cost them a chance to beat the Steelers backups. Corey Coleman should head home and not get back to Cleveland until the very last possible minute for his potential safety.
  • Vikings end Fox’s coaching tenure with the Chicago Bears in an embarrassing game for the Bears. Think about the 2016 World Series Chicago, this could be a long road for football.
  • Saints find a way to lose to a pathetic Buccaneers team, but still won the 4 seed with the Panthers losing as well.
  • Rams lose to the future NFC nightmare known as the 49ers with Jimmy G being the hottest name in that part of California. Despite that, Panthers and Saints losses kept the Rams in the 3rd seed despite the outcome.
  • The Chargers beat the Raiders handily, but due to the outcome of the Titans game their effort was for naught. One unlucky defeat earlier this season gets reversed and the Chargers season wouldn’t be over yet. I feel bad for Los Angeles, but not bad enough.
  • This same fate befalls the Seattle Seahawks as well, although they lost in a close game to the Cardinals in what was Bruce Arians final game as a Head Coach in the NFL. Enjoy your Retirement Bruce. Seahawks players and fans heal up, as the NFC West is only going to get harder to win from here on out.

Here are the 4 Games that Really Changed the Landscape of the NFL Postseason:

Carolina Panthers 10 vs. Atlanta Falcons 22

In a game that the Falcons and Panthers  both thought they needed to win, it seems the Falcons 28-3 previous year memory prevailed and made sure to not rely on the Cardinals to upset the Seahawks (Spoiler Alert: They Did). The MVP on this game is Matt Bryant’s kicking leg, as he kicked 5 field goals successfully to make up the majority of the Falcons scoring. That won’t likely be enough to beat the Rams in the postseason, but I’ve heard that Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman and Julio Jones are no slouches on offense. With Nick Foles playing at QB for an flawed 1 seed Eagles team, a win next week could put this 6 seed on the path to a Super Bowl return. As for the Panthers, you prize for losing is you get to the play the New Orleans Saints, in New Orleans. Good luck with that, and you’re going to need a lot of that if you play like you did this week.

Jacksonville Jaguars 10 vs. Tennessee Titans 15

Jacksonville Jaguars coach Doug Marrone decided not to rest his starters for his already locked 3 seed Jaguars teams. He wanted to create some momentum after losing the previous week to the San Francisco 49ers featuring Jimmy Garoppolo. In retrospect, this game would’ve been more encouraging if you did decide to rest your starters, as the only TD you scored was on a gifted Titans fumble run to the end zone. Neither of these teams looked like playoffs squads in this game, but the Titans “victory” (we have to call that for legal reasons) gave them the 5 seed, which they will be waiting to ultimately face their demise against an rising Chiefs squad. As for the Jaguars, playing like this next week will definitely end your season.

Buffalo Bills 22 vs. Miami Dolphins 16

So the Buffalo Bills needed this win to get to 9-7 and a shot at the postseason for the first time in 17 years and the Dolphins attempted to spoil this game with Jay Cutler at QB. Hold On…I’ve been informed the Cutler left early in the game with an injury and David Fales had to come in to play most of the game as Matt Moore was inactive due to injury. I mean Fales doesn’t sound encouraging from a last name standpoint. This game ended closer than it should’ve been because Buffalo found a way to blow a majority of a 19 point lead that luckily for them ended with a interception in the final minutes of play and Buffalo ends the season 9-7. Lesean McCoy took what look to be a significant injury (turned out to be an ankle sprain) and had to leave the game midway through, which would be concerning in a potential WC game situation. When this game ended, the Ravens and Bengals were still going on and Buffalo’s only path to postseason at that point is a Ravens loss. Funny that’s what they needed…

Cincinnati Bengals 31 vs. Baltimore Ravens 27

This game not suppose to necessarily matter for the Ravens, as they could’ve also gotten in with a Buffalo or Titans Loss. Neither of these teams lost their game it turns out, meaning that near the end of this match, the Ravens season would come down to one final stop. It was 27-24 Ravens, and they got the Bengals to a 4th and 12. Andy Dalton should not have inspired confidence for anyone based on the way he played this season, although he has been known for being a clutch QB for when the time is right. But lets be honest, the Bills are despised by the Football Gods and there is no way they were going to let the Bills in the postseason in our lifetimes. So Andy Dalton snaps the ball, and he throws it into significant coverage and…TYLER BOYD CATCHES THE BALL. GO! MOVE TO THE ENDZONE. HURRY, PLEASE! TOUCHDOWN! OH MY GOD, THE BENGALS DON’T SUCK. Alright, but the Bengals Defense has been giving up points towards the end of the game, it’ll just be more heartbreaking for Bills fans when the Ravens…THEY WERE SHORT ON 4TH DOWN BY 1 YARD?!?! THE BILLS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS. THANK GOD! HOLY F*** THE DROUGHT IS OVER. IN YOUR FACE, HATERS! SCREW THE RAVENS, WOO!!! THE BILLS ARE IN THE POSTSEASON FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1999! WHO CARES IF THIS IS A 1 AND DONE, THIS IS WORTH IT! OH, AND THEY PLAY THE JAGUARS SO THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN A PLAYOFF GAME AS WELL! HAPPY NEW YEARS BILLS FANS, FOR ALL AQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT…(Goes Way Longer Than You Care To Read).

Sorry to the Ravens on a disappointing end to your season, but not sorry enough to not post this.

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking Down the Merry NFL Week 16

Featured

First of all, we hope you had a Merry Christmas. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day cleared up the cluttered mess known as the NFL picture a little bit.  are straight forward, while others take specific results to happen. The one thing that we left this week with is 9 playoff spots filled, with only 3 open slots remaining that only 6 teams are eligible for. I’ll go more into that later this week in a separate post, but with one week remaining lets evaluate the state of the NFL with this Week 16’s meaningful games.

Note: While Not Covered Here, the Browns lost did clinch the Number 1 pick. Unfortunately, they’re one Steelers loss away from going 0-16, they’re probably going to fire their coach, Kizer will not likely be given another year in Cleveland, and the overall state of your franchise leads me to believe you still have a long rebuild ahead of you. Well at least Cleveland still has LeBron James, for now.

Indianapolis Colts 16 vs. Baltimore Ravens 23

This game shouldn’t have been this close. The then 3-11 Colts shouldn’t have been in this game in the fourth quarter. While the offensive points and Joe Flacco’s passer rating looks good on paper, the offense relatively struggled against a mediocre Colts Defense. This was an important win though, as the only way the Ravens miss the postseason is for 3 outcomes not to go their way. Your the only 9-6 team in the WC picture as of this moment, but if you play next week like you did the Colts and you might be looking for help on the out of town scoreboard.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 19 vs. Carolina Panthers 22

Congratulations, a two yard play that could’ve easily ended in a turnover instead ended in a TD and now you’re guaranteed a spot in the tough NFC playoffs. Honestly though, the Carolina Panthers are the Plaxico Burress of the NFC. There is absolutely a lot of high end promise in this franchise, but they find ways to keep shooting yourself in the foot. This is passable in Tampa Bay, but if you take this play against any of the (including potential) playoff teams and your season will end there. Next Week at the Falcons could be for the division and can see your division rival miss an opportunity for Super Bowl redemption.  Then again, when opportunity is presented to Plaxico…

Detroit Lions 17 vs. Cincinnati Bengals 26

Huh, maybe Cincinnati should try to retain Marvin Lewis after all. After starting the season with an offense that failed to score a TD in the first two games, you’ve ended Week 16 not in the playoff picture, but taking out the resilient and yet hopeless Detroit Lions. The Lions weren’t going to do anything serious in the postseason, which is why this victory weeds out the week and we thank you for that. You now potentially have a similar opportunity to do that to the Ravens. While they might still get in through other potential outcomes, at least you could make them sweat with a 14 point lead a halftime. Hollow victories are still technically victories, Right?

Miami Dolphins 13 vs. Kansas City Chiefs 29

Both teams entered with a lot to play for in Week 16 and both teams left with nothing to play for in Week 17. These two teams though got to that conclusion differently. The Kansas City Chiefs caught a break by catching Jay Cutler at the right time (15/16 games of the year) and clinching not only the playoffs and the division, but are now locked into the 4 seed. Its time for Andy Reid to rest his starters and prepare for likely a dangerous WC team or the Tennessee Titans. On the other hand, the Dolphins are officially eliminated from postseason contention with this loss, although could continue Buffalo’s playoff drought with a Week 17 win. Fun Fact: That would be back to back years the Dolphins eliminated the Bills from postseason contention. Fun Fact: The previous fun fact was not a fun fact to any football fan in the WNY region.

Buffalo Bills 16 vs. New England Patriots 37

I wasn’t shocked to see the Kelvin Benjamin catch to be overturned, as the NFL catch rule doesn’t apply when the game involves the New England Patriots. Whether that was a catch or not, the Bills were probably going to lose this game. That was honestly expected and the Dolphins matchup next week will be more important to attempt to end this circa 1999 playoff drought. It won’t be a win and in like it would’ve been if they won this game, but they can manage to squeeze through with reasonable help. Patriots on the other hand are 1 game away from the 1 seed and playing the Bryce Petty starting Jets. Its going to be a very cold and bitter road to the playoffs for AFC teams this year.

Atlanta Falcons 13 vs. New Orleans Saints 23

2 Go In 1 comes out with a playoff birth and the other is likely able to get in next week. This game had high stakes, but the consequence for losing wasn’t that severe. This game was in the Saints control the entire way through the game, with the score being 20-3 by the end of the third quarter. At least the Saints didn’t score 8 more points to replay a recent postseason memory for the Falcons.

New York Jets 7 vs. Los Angeles Chargers 14

The Chargers deserved to miss the postseason if they lost to Bryce Petty and the Jets. Another game this week that involved a postseason bubble team and a “football team” that should’ve been decided way sooner than it was. This might not cut it against the Raiders next week for the Chargers, and even a victory there requires a decent amount of help to make it in the playoffs. Good Luck to the Jets against New England, although all that will do is potentially play your way out of a franchise QB. I’m not saying the Jets should tank, but the army called and offered up their vehicles for Yankees tickets and the Jets would be stupid to not take that offer.

Los Angeles Rams 27 vs. Tennessee Titans 23

The Titans losing was potentially in their best interest, as a victory over Jacksonville gives them a stronger 9-7. It also forces other teams (Bills, Chargers) to root for other outcomes to sneak their way in. The Jaguars also are locked in to the 3 seed so they should be playing their backups, you’ve got this. You did lose 3 straight games to the Rams inferior opponents but should still have this. On the Rams side this win has clinched the NFC West and it looks like…Wait…Doug Marrone isn’t benching his starters and is playing to win. He knows this lost could lead you guys out of the postseason and cause the Titans HC to be fired for the collapse, I hate to admit it but that is a well thought out strategic move on the Jaguars front. I wonder why else he’d be so motivated to win.

Jacksonville Jaguars 33 vs. San Francisco 49ers 44

Oh, that’s why. Losing to a 49ers team that is looking a lot stronger than their record is nothing to be ashamed of, anymore. The Jaguars need to look for momentum in their Week 17 matchup. This match’s loss locked in the 3 seed for the Jaguars with the addition of the Steelers Victory and while it may look like they have nothing to play from a tangible side, Bortles 3 interceptions and the Defense’s weaknesses need to be addressed before the WC game or this team could suffer an early exit if they play a tougher opponent than the Titans. So, any other option it seems like.

Seattle Seahawks 21 vs. Dallas Cowboys 12

2 Go In, 1 comes out only to likely to be killed next week either bye their own ineptitudes or outside factors. In theory, a Week 16 death match on Christmas Eve should be a blast, but instead showcased why neither of these teams should play beyond the regular season schedule. Also, why was Jason Garrett’s job in question after this loss, it wasn’t his fault his star RB’s appeal to the NFL failed at the worst possible time and tough opponents put the Cowboys in a too little, too late position. At least Elliott now can argue for more compensation should he win his lawsuit against the NFL.

On a Side Note: Dak’s struggles won my RIT Fantasy League this year, so thanks Dak for costing your team because this couldn’t have been done by the Seahawks defense alone.

Pittsburgh Steelers 34 vs. Houston Texans 6

I’m very scared of the Texans next year. Sure, the Steelers did win this game by a lot and are now guaranteed a bye in the AFC Postseason at least, but can we talk about the way the Texans scored their 6 points. It was on the best TD catch of the entire NFL season made by DeAndre Hopkins. If you haven’t seen it, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y-346ULfoY

My Thoughts:

  1. It was better than the legendary OBJ catch (Fight Me).
  2. Yes Hopkins held, but it didn’t matter other than for Fantasy (Didn’t have him though) and overall amazement of Christmas Football.
  3. For all the talk on what is, and isn’t a catch (See last week’s post and above), I’m glad the officials got into the giving spirit and let this amazing grab stand.

When JJ Watt and Deshawn Watson return, no one is going to want to play the Texans. Jaguars better make the postseason appearance count, they might not return for a long time.

Oakland Raiders 10 vs. Philadelphia Eagles 19

It was the night of Christmas and all through the Stadium? Yeah, I’m not going through that for this game. This game was just unwatchable at times. Unless you were plowed Eggnog and/or other substances, Even if your an Eagles Fan, you didn’t have the will to watch this game live in its entirety. The amusement of this game for me was to watch these two potentially tough teams struggle to even get points on the board at times despite their field position. Congratulations to the Eagles for locking the 1 seed for the 2017 NFL Playoffs, your going to need it. As for the Raiders, at least you can ruin the Chargers season for sure with a win. After that, get ready for what possibly might be your last season in Oakland, and YOU’D BETTER AT LEAST MAKE THE POSTSEASON THIS TIME. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Bills Fan and I don’t want you taking our potential spot in the Playoffs next year. I just hate to see the Raiders tenure with Oakland and its fans go out on a wimper like this season will.

 

 

Breaking Down NFL Week 15

Featured

That Week 15 has started to truly divide the NFL into 3 groups. The first group are the 5 teams who’ve clinched their postseason ticket, and if you’re the Philadelphia Eagles a first round bye. Start plotting your postseason run now, and maybe you’ll find your way in Super Bowl LII. The second group of teams are 13 teams mathematically eliminated from postseason contention. To these unlucky 13, get ready for a long offseason and draft process to right this wrong in 2018, you sad sorry sons of female dogs. Finally, we a left with 14 teams vying for the 7 remaining spots in the postseason. Whether you’re odds are long or short, the goal now is to make into Week 17 with a path in. Anything can happen on any given week, so make sure you have a way in come New Years Eve. Lets break down how we got here in our relevant games to NFL Week 15.

Los Angeles Chargers 13 vs. Kansas City Chiefs 30

Welcome to the obligatory Saturday Night Football late season match that we go through to confuse Football Fans down the stretch. The AFC West is on the line between two teams that started so very differently. The Kansas City (should’ve locked this division by now) Chiefs was the last remaining team with a undefeated record and even in Week 15 are unable to lock down their postseason return ticket yet. Their opponent for the division crown are the unlucky yet plucky Los Angeles Chargers who started the year 0-4 have somehow stayed in reaching distance of a team that started 5-0. This is like Rocky, if Apollo Creed was on the decline going into the match, and if Apollo Creed won the match, and if boxing was football. Technically the Chiefs could still miss the postseason if they lose out and the Chargers win out, but that’s a lot to ask for. Although it was a lot to ask for this game to be relevant going into Week 5, so…

Miami Dolphins 16 vs. Buffalo Bills 24

The Buffalo Bills won this all important game that gives them a postseason scenario in Week 17 for the first time since:

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban debuted in theaters
  • Lost started to confuse the Hell out of us with Season 1
  • Jimmy Fallon left SNL to onto his failed movie career (See Fever Pitch, although if you did his movie career wouldn’t have flopped).
  • Our Friends left us, but at least we still have Joey
  • LeBron was starting his second season (not stint) with the Cavs

If that seems long ago to you, just wait until you see the list of things that were relevant the last time the Bills made the postseason. If the second half echoes anything though, we might have to.

Houston Texans 7 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars 45

Was the result obvious, yes. Sad, yes. Boring if not a Jaguars fan, so everyone except 12 people worldwide, yes. But this game did clinch the Jaguars spot in the postseason for the first time since 2007, so that’s something. Are the Jaguars a decent football team, yes. Are they Super Bowl contenders yet, don’t push your luck. Remember, Blake Bortles is still the quarterback.

Cincinnati Bengals 7 vs. Minnesota Vikings 34

Its like the Jaguars game, except this clinched the NFC North, involved a better overall winner, and somehow mathematically was a closer result. Also, Teddy Bridgewater is back, to kneel down and not risk the injury of their “star” quarterback…Case Keenum. The Vikings better realize soon that Case Keenum cannot win a Super Bowl soon or they’ll be done faster than you can say 1999 NFC Championship Game (“Damn” while slamming fist on countertop).

New York Jets 19 vs. New Orleans Saints 31

This game was a lot closer than it should’ve been. New Orleans, you should be ashamed of yourselves for dragging the game out the way you did. Although we all should be ashamed that it took until Week 15 to mathematically eliminated the mostly Josh McCown led New York Jets team. Apparently, the Jets also don’t know what a tank is. A tank is when you lose so many games that your draft position gets high enough where you can draft a Franchise player with easy. Enjoy potentially missing the top 10 you sad pathetic franchise for years to come.

Philadelphia Eagles 34 vs. New York Giants 29

What is with these lopsided talent matchups leading to close results. Although I probably shouldn’t say Nick Foles is “lopsided” compared to 2X Super Bowl Winner Eli Manning. The Giants almost pulled the upset off, as they led 21-7 at the beginning of the second quarter. It was all downhill from there. I would say that was the Giants season in a nutshell, but that would require a high point in the beginning, or at all. Anyways the non-Carson Wentz led Eagles squad will now get a first round bye and it puts Philadelphia in realistic position to host the NFC Championship game when all is said and done.

Arizona Cardinals 15 vs. Washington Redskins 20

A team that was already eliminated from postseason contention eliminated a different team from postseason contention but to be honest was already on the verge of being eliminated from postseason contention and both teams wore red. Got That?

Los Angeles Rams 42 vs. Seattle Seahawks 7

Seriously, this is the third game I covered that the losing team only managed to score a measly 7 points while being blown out by a probable if not definitive playoff team. I feel that the football gods got lazy and decided to cut-copy-paste the Bengals-Vikings game to the Jets-Saints and Rams-Seahawks matchups. Anyways, Rams can clinch the division with another win and the Seahawks are now in a sudden death game against the Cowboys.

New England Patriots 27 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers 24

To the NFL

Here I Proclaim

A Plea

To Right the

 

Wrongs Of This

Aggravating Management

So It May Prosper

 

Again In This New

 

Culture of

Accurate Views of

The Public’s

Callings and

Hollers.

You M************ A*******.

Tennessee Titans 23 vs. San Francisco 49ers 25

All hail your new savior, Jimmy Garoppolo. Seriously, what were the Patriots thinking when getting rid of this guy. Move Over Steph Curry, as Jimmy G solves all. He hasn’t been in the Bay Area for half a season and it looks like making this trade sooner might’ve put the 49ers in the postseason after all. The Titans matchup against the Jaguars in Week 17 looks important in the wrong way now, as a loss here might end their promising season.

Dallas Cowboys 20 vs. Oakland Raiders 17

So apparently you can lose a football game by fumbling in your opponents end zone, letting it go out of bounds and its called a touchback for the other team, ending your drive. That seems like it rewards the other team for almost allowing their opponents to dominate them for 70+ yards and if at any other point in the field when the ball goes out of bounds, its marked for the driving team but when it gets to that crucial point, the game decided to basically say “screw it” and give it to the underserving team. This rule basically but not mathematically ends the Raiders postseason hopes and makes the Cowboys game against the Seahawks a sudden death game. Well, at least were guaranteed one game with relatively high stakes next weeks. TWO GO IN, ONE COMES OUT ONLY TO GO IN AGAIN AND PROBABLY NOT COME OUT. It’s the way things go sometimes.

Atlanta Falcons 24 vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 21

Congratulations Atlanta. Before you say anything, you’ve not officially cinched the postseason, but you prevent an Aaron Rodgers postseason run and that can only help you odds come January in the likely event you make it. By the way Packers fans who are upset with this news, you’ve shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up relying on a Tampa Bay kicker to send the game to OT in any situation. I don’t even completely trust TB kickers to make extra points, so every time that happens its a little bit of a surprise. Maybe next year cheese-heads, but until then you can watch the Falcons likely make the postseason, only to lose at some point in humiliating fashion. That won’t be completely satisfying, Welcome to the life of being an (insert reoccurringly disappointing franchise here) fan.

 

NFL Sunday Week 11 Breakdown

Featured

This was a very heavy turnover, decisive, and yet shocking week in the NFL. The NFC is looking more and more decisive and the AFC just became more cluttered with the Ravens and Bills currently occupying the 6 seed at 5 wins. 9-7 will be successful for getting to the postseason in the AFC and the Ravens look like the team to do it, although so many other teams are on their tail that a slip-up will open the door. Let’s cover game by game with the main takeaways from NFL Week 11.

Jacksonville Jaguars 19 vs. Cleveland Browns 7

There are 2 ways to look at the result of this game. The first way is to say that only beating the Browns by 12 is a pathetic sign and the Jaguars making the playoffs is currently a skeptical outlook at best. The other way to look at this is that the Browns, while winless, are a team that keeps games close and might find a way to win 1 or 2 games before the end of this season. It’s Schrodinger’s Browns, and we’ll be opening over the next six weeks.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 30 vs. Miami Dolphins 20

Is it just me, or the Miami Dolphins better when Jay Cutler has to be benched during a game. I mean you can’t just start Matt Moore apparently, as it apparently leads to a humiliating loss on CBS. Seriously, The Big Bang Theory had to move to Mondays for THAT! Anyways, the Dolphins should consider starting Cutler for the first drive of the game, and then bench him for Matt Moore. At least that formula will win you game(s).

Detroit Lions 27 vs. Chicago Bears 24

Welcome to the Wide Right Club Bears Fans. Its just a little club where teams who have suffered humiliating defeats due to reasonable field goals sailing wide right discuss their problems and dreams. We meet every Tuesday (Mondays we rest and lick our wounds) and currently members consist of you, Viking Fans, and our club founding Bill Fans. We hope you find solace in joining this very pathetic organization, as you look towards making offseason moves to not suck as much next year.

Baltimore Ravens 23 vs. Green Bay Packers 0

Okay its Official, Aaron Rodgers’s injury did not kill your season. It definitely hurt your season, but your defense is currently the reason for your demise. HUNDLEY, I see you sneaking away from this and you’re not off the hook here. Your bakery seems to have a horrible business model for all the turnovers you have been giving away in your starts this year. Packers fans don’t deserve 5 turnovers, but the defense has to step up to pick up from your mistakes. You can’t blame Hundley for his failures too much, the Packers didn’t ask him to start, he was called upon due to injury. This season is lost, but the lesson the front office learns in its struggles on defense could help build a team that could give Aaron Rodgers and your team another Super Bowl in the near future.

Arizona Cardinals 21 vs. Houston Texans 31

This was an impressive game considering the QB’s In this were Blaine Gabbert and Tom Savage. Both teams seasons were pretty close to over going into this game, and both teams are still unlikely to make the postseason. But these teams played their hearts out in this exciting matchup. Yes, this game was exciting and I apologize in advance for my “poor” and “disgraceful” taste in good football.

Los Angeles Rams 7 vs. Minnesota Vikings 24

Wasn’t this supposed to be the “game of the week” with these potential Super Bowl participants both at 7-2 battling it out for a large advantage in important playoff seeding? Jared Goff had a very boing day, he didn’t cost his team the game through turnovers, he just failed to contribute to the team in a meaningful way that could’ve spared them this loss to a Keenum led Vikings team. This Vikings team also has Bridgewater waiting in the wings, so they might be the NFL’s best hope at defeating the Eagles in the postseason.

Washington Redskins 31 vs. New Orleans Saints 34 (OT)

The Redskins defense deserved to lose this game. Take yourselves and that arguably offensive name and sit in the corner while I belittle you. Yes, you lost to a Drew Brees led team, but you were up more than two touchdowns with 6 minutes left. This is not a game you should lose, even when your starting running back goes down with an injury. This was yours to lose and you did just that. The Saints on the other hand have proven their ability to be clutch in crucial situations, which is why the NFC is right now a 4 team race for the Super Bowl.

Kansas City Chiefs 9 vs. New York Giants 12

HOW? HOW THIS HAPPEN? JUST HOW? I MEAN… HOW? YOU HAVE….HOW DID YOU SCREW THIS UP? HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLE? I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE HOW THIS COULD’VE HAPPENED? YOUR OPPONENTS LOST TO THE…HOW? HOW DID…(Goes On an Infinite Loop for All Eternity).

Buffalo Bills 24 vs. Los Angeles Chargers 54

Congratulations Nathan Peterman on your First NFL Start! Next time, lets see if you can finish a game instead of getting benched after throwing 5 INTERCEPTIONS before the end of the first half! Granted some of those interceptions were not your fault, but then again most of them were. Is it time to go back to Tyrod starting? Maybe. Does this hurt your postseason chances? Definitely. Is this loss a death sentence for the 2017 season playoff hopes? I don’t think so, yet. As witness above, Kansas City is losing to everybody now and the Bills might’ve possibility loss this game badly to the future AFC West division champs by the way these teams are currently playing. Unless you want to make a victory over Tom Brady necessary, you need to send a message to Kansas City at Arrowhead Next Sunday.

Cincinnati Bengals 20 vs. Denver Broncos 17

This game was a battle between 3-6 teams to determine which gets to keep a relatively realistic chance at a postseason run, and one team decided its best bet to that was to start Brock Osweiler. Seriously though, what’d you think would happen with that choice. Better decisions have been made, that’s all I’m saying. Completing a little over half your passes with a 1/1 ratio was a “good” day for Brock, and it still wasn’t enough. Its time to see what Paxton Lynch can do, because we now know once and for all Brock Osweiler should not be starting at QB in the NFL. If only the Broncos realized this one week sooner.

New England Patriots 33 vs. Oakland Raiders 8

In honor of the annual NFL game in Mexico, this breakdown will be submitted in Spanish. If you don’t know and don’t want to bother learning Spanish, just use Google Translate.

Los Patriotas de Nueva Inglaterra demolieron a los Raiders de Oakland en un resultado tristemente esperado. En serio, México lo tiene para su único juego de la NFL. ¿Por qué este país solo obtiene un juego al año y Londres obtiene tres? Es más fácil viajar jugadores a México y definitivamente hay interés por una franquicia en este país. Al menos aumenta los juegos, por lo que es más probable que se juegue un emparejamiento de calidad en este maravilloso país.

Philidelphia Eagles 37 vs. Dallas Cowboys 9

Is it time to start talking about questioning Dak Prescott as an NFL starting QB. The Cowboys could’ve done better in his 145 yards passing. The team didn’t find the end zone once while playing at home, which is definitely pathetic. Imagine if your neighbor hated you and one day decided to go to your house, convince your spouse to leave you for them, obtaining custody of your children along with alimony. To top all of that off, this neighbor has the guts to tell you to go to bed and do absolutely nothing and it works. There might be a better analogy, but that’s basically what the Eagles did to the Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.

 

 

 

 

 

The NFL Schedulers Apparently Should be Incarcerated in this Thursday Night Football Recap

Yep, that was a long title, but that was the main takeaway in this Thursday night matchup between the capable Seattle Seahawks, and the sad, desperate, and beaten Arizona Cardinals. Ending=No Shocker. The only thing that makes us even remotely care about this game was that CB Richard Sherman is out for the remainder of the season with a torn ACL. Ouch, at least its not as bad as this:

Carpenter

Seriously that’s a castration device, which was tweeted by Dan Carpenter’s wife when the newly injured CB made a clearly dirty hit on the kicker just before halftime on Monday Night Football. No response has been made from Kaela yet, but I don’t think she will be crying an ocean in this recent development. This injury is going to hurt the Seattle defense, but this team is still on track for a postseason birth, although the division window might’ve gotten wider for the LA Rams.

Anyways, there was a comment that keeps repeating a similar theme in recent weeks. Doug Baldwin made a comment on how Thursday Night Football should be illegal.

Smart Business Decision: Questionable

Entertaining Most of the Time: Oh God No!

Entertaining Some of the Time: Nope

Entertaining on Rare Occasions:…I’ll Give You That One.

To say TNF is illegal though, definitely not. The NFL has TNF to create more nationally televised games beyond SNF and MNF. This scheduling decision allows the NFL to put every team in primetime at some point in the season. Yes, even the Browns deserve a chance to be in the national spotlight. These games allow all the lower caliber teams to have public exposure, which doesn’t lead to the same few teams getting all of the national attention and glory. It highlights good players on bad teams, and puts teams who’d have a playoff caliber record (Bills) to play once in front of national audience so they aren’t confused when you see them in January (Trust me, one of these days I’ll be right on this).

Doug, I’m sorry your friend and teammate is hurt right now, but you also won the game this week. Seriously, Richie Incognito complained, but that was clearly trying to rationalize losing to the Josh McCown led J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS (I’m Dead Inside). Please just take the win, calm down, drink a warm glass of milk, get through the rest of the season, make the playoffs, lose to in the Wild Card round because your team isn’t talented enough to beat the Vikings, make it to the offseason, and if you still have TNF complaints we can address them for the 2018-2019 season.

Breaking Down NFL Sunday Week 9

Featured

This week, there was football, fights, and questionable personnel decisions in some NFL franchises. Close games were surprisingly not a major player this week, as most matchups seemed to be pretty decided by the end of the third quarter. Here’s to hoping Week 10 brings more interesting football. Until then, here are the big things to remember from this NFL Week 9.

Atlanta Falcons 17 vs. Carolina Panthers 20

What has happened to these Falcons. Remember when they used to have a turnover machine of a defense. It seems like a distant memory the way they were playing. The lost to a Panthers team WITHOUT their number 1 receiver who they’d traded away before the deadline. No Olsen or Benjamin, but Funchess was the leading receiver with 86 yards. YOU STILL MANAGED TO LOSE THAT GAME! Yeah, your not going to the Super Bowl anytime soon.

Indianapolis Colts 20 vs. Houston Texans 14

This could’ve been the matchup of two franchise QB’s that could run the AFC South for the next decade. Instead, both of those QB’s are out for the season and it was a battle between a former Patriots 3rd stringer and a laughing stock of a late round pick. Watching paint dry seemed like a better alternative for most parts of this game. Thank God for T.Y. Hilton’s 175 yards to make this game somewhat watchable.

Cincinnati Bengals 7 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars 23

From a game standpoint, the Jaguars won with an amazing rushing day with INTENTIONALLY sitting out their clear starting RB, which is amazing. The big story here is how a star Wide Receiver and a star Cornerback were both ejected after one altercation. Seriously, set that fight to any music and it works. Not just rock or hip hop, set the music to a good country, classical, or even The Price is Right theme song, it’ll lighten up your day. Send me your submissions of this fight under your choice of music and I’ll feature it on our social media and post this to UltimateFumble.com, giving you full credit. 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10 vs. New Orleans Saints 30

What’s with NFL Week 10 and star Wide Receivers getting into fights. Seriously was there a full moon the previous night and those players transformed into MMA fighters overnight with the sole purpose of attacking other football players whether they were playing in the game or not. Seriously Mike, there was no need to aggressively shove someone when there was clearly no play. You can’t just walk up to people and just shove them to the ground as hard as you can. Well….Maybe….and I now a November 15th court day.

Denver Broncos 23 vs. Philadelphia Eagles 51

I understand the offense isn’t scoring much with Brock Osweiler at QB, but the defense should be keeping Denver’s opponents under 30 at least. 51 on a team with Von Miller. 51 on a team with a Top 5 defense last year. 51 against a second year quarterback and the best receiving option is Ashlon Jeffery. Broncos fans, I hope 51 stays in your brain the rest of this season and the upcoming offseason.
Los Angeles Rams 51 vs. New York Giants 17

51 points, congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles. Carson Wentz had a wonderful game against the Den…wait this isn’t the Eagles…really the Rams, Who were they playing…oh that makes sense. I can’t believe I’m staying the but the Jets are the better New York team this year. They’re not doing well, but their playoff chances aren’t zero yet. Good news Giants fans, we’re in November! The end of the season can’t come soon enough for you, can it.
Washington Redskins 17 vs. Seattle Seahawks 14

Is it just me, or has Russell Wilson lost his elite QB status ever since Super XLIX. Ever since he made that goal line interception at the end of that game instead of handing the ball off to MARSHAWN ******LYNCH, he’s played decent football, but not best in the league, and this year not even best in his division. The Redskins are a worthy opponent, but not unbeatable by any means. This Seahawks tea is on track for the playoffs, just not much else.
Baltimore Ravens 20 vs. Tennessee Titans 23

Speaking of QBs who haven’t been the same since a Super Bowl we have Joe Flacco, who once had one of the best postseasons in NFL history and now can’t keep his team at .500 level for long. Don’t get me wrong, there are teams in worse situations at this moment and time, but this is a clearly not the Flacco that should be paid $100+ million dollars over his contract. If this keeps happening, the Ravens must ask themselves how much longer their willing to wait for Flacco before they accept that they must move on.

Arizona Cardinals 20 vs. San Francisco 49ers 10

Drew Stanton was the more relevant QB on the field this week against the 49ers. It could be just me, but I think if the 49ers started Garroppolo on a limited playbook they would’ve gotten their first win this week. I’m not sure if the 49ers have found their starting quarterback of the future with this trade, given the history of former patriots backups tanking with future teams, but they should start looking into Jimmy’s potential ASAP. This is a team that will have a top 5 pick at the least and if this trade didn’t bring the guy they thought, scouting should be considering alternatives for an interesting QB competition.

Kansas City Chiefs 28 vs. Dallas Cowboys 17

Weren’t the Chiefs the only team to go 5-0 and have whom is likely to be Rookie of the Year currently on their roster. This team will probably still win the AFC West, but that might be more of the lack of talented play beyond the Chiefs start this year. This was supposed to be a battle between the Raiders and the Chiefs and the Raiders are two games back with a losing record. This division should’ve been locked up by now and a win vs. the Cowboys would’ve realistically done that. Raiders…

Oakland Raiders 27 vs. Miami Dolphins 24

…This is your chance to shine, or at least not make a set fire onto your team’s hopes and dreams for the 2017 season. I feel that the 2017 season will either go down as the year of Wentz or the year of mediocrity. 3 win teams are still in this hunt because of matchups like this. A Dolphins win could’ve propelled them farther ahead and leave the Raiders in the dust for this season. Instead, we now have two 4 win teams who both have a shot this year, but both need some significant help to pull a postseason out of this year. 10-6 is going to guarantee any AFC team a postseason birth and 9-7 just might also do the trick. The team whose playing down the stretch winning these types of games consistently will be playing January football, and it just might be the Oakland Raiders who does it.