Breaking Down The Ultimately Meaningful Week 17 Games

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Happy 2018 everyone. The 12 postseason teams have been decided, along with matchups and start times for each game in the Wild Card Weekend. I will post “Obituary” of every Non-Playoff Team on Friday (1/5/2018), along with predictions for these important Wild Card Weekend games. Fun Fact, we technically have a 1/3 chance that a team that went into the year suffering a long playoff drought will leave this year with a championship. Those odds will likely change negatively over the course of the next week, but we’ll see what happens. For now, here is my Week 17 Breakdown of 2017.

Other Games Important Notes

  • Jets couldn’t even come close to keeping up with the Patriots, as handed them the 1 seed in a brutal blowout.
  • Browns went 0-16 after a Corey Coleman drop cost them a chance to beat the Steelers backups. Corey Coleman should head home and not get back to Cleveland until the very last possible minute for his potential safety.
  • Vikings end Fox’s coaching tenure with the Chicago Bears in an embarrassing game for the Bears. Think about the 2016 World Series Chicago, this could be a long road for football.
  • Saints find a way to lose to a pathetic Buccaneers team, but still won the 4 seed with the Panthers losing as well.
  • Rams lose to the future NFC nightmare known as the 49ers with Jimmy G being the hottest name in that part of California. Despite that, Panthers and Saints losses kept the Rams in the 3rd seed despite the outcome.
  • The Chargers beat the Raiders handily, but due to the outcome of the Titans game their effort was for naught. One unlucky defeat earlier this season gets reversed and the Chargers season wouldn’t be over yet. I feel bad for Los Angeles, but not bad enough.
  • This same fate befalls the Seattle Seahawks as well, although they lost in a close game to the Cardinals in what was Bruce Arians final game as a Head Coach in the NFL. Enjoy your Retirement Bruce. Seahawks players and fans heal up, as the NFC West is only going to get harder to win from here on out.

Here are the 4 Games that Really Changed the Landscape of the NFL Postseason:

Carolina Panthers 10 vs. Atlanta Falcons 22

In a game that the Falcons and Panthers¬† both thought they needed to win, it seems the Falcons 28-3 previous year memory prevailed and made sure to not rely on the Cardinals to upset the Seahawks (Spoiler Alert: They Did). The MVP on this game is Matt Bryant’s kicking leg, as he kicked 5 field goals successfully to make up the majority of the Falcons scoring. That won’t likely be enough to beat the Rams in the postseason, but I’ve heard that Matt Ryan, Devonta Freeman and Julio Jones are no slouches on offense. With Nick Foles playing at QB for an flawed 1 seed Eagles team, a win next week could put this 6 seed on the path to a Super Bowl return. As for the Panthers, you prize for losing is you get to the play the New Orleans Saints, in New Orleans. Good luck with that, and you’re going to need a lot of that if you play like you did this week.

Jacksonville Jaguars 10 vs. Tennessee Titans 15

Jacksonville Jaguars coach Doug Marrone decided not to rest his starters for his already locked 3 seed Jaguars teams. He wanted to create some momentum after losing the previous week to the San Francisco 49ers featuring Jimmy Garoppolo. In retrospect, this game would’ve been more encouraging if you did decide to rest your starters, as the only TD you scored was on a gifted Titans fumble run to the end zone. Neither of these teams looked like playoffs squads in this game, but the Titans “victory” (we have to call that for legal reasons) gave them the 5 seed, which they will be waiting to ultimately face their demise against an rising Chiefs squad. As for the Jaguars, playing like this next week will definitely end your season.

Buffalo Bills 22 vs. Miami Dolphins 16

So the Buffalo Bills needed this win to get to 9-7 and a shot at the postseason for the first time in 17 years and the Dolphins attempted to spoil this game with Jay Cutler at QB. Hold On…I’ve been informed the Cutler left early in the game with an injury and David Fales had to come in to play most of the game as Matt Moore was inactive due to injury. I mean Fales doesn’t sound encouraging from a last name standpoint. This game ended closer than it should’ve been because Buffalo found a way to blow a majority of a 19 point lead that luckily for them ended with a interception in the final minutes of play and Buffalo ends the season 9-7. Lesean McCoy took what look to be a significant injury (turned out to be an ankle sprain) and had to leave the game midway through, which would be concerning in a potential WC game situation. When this game ended, the Ravens and Bengals were still going on and Buffalo’s only path to postseason at that point is a Ravens loss. Funny that’s what they needed…

Cincinnati Bengals 31 vs. Baltimore Ravens 27

This game not suppose to necessarily matter for the Ravens, as they could’ve also gotten in with a Buffalo or Titans Loss. Neither of these teams lost their game it turns out, meaning that near the end of this match, the Ravens season would come down to one final stop. It was 27-24 Ravens, and they got the Bengals to a 4th and 12. Andy Dalton should not have inspired confidence for anyone based on the way he played this season, although he has been known for being a clutch QB for when the time is right. But lets be honest, the Bills are despised by the Football Gods and there is no way they were going to let the Bills in the postseason in our lifetimes. So Andy Dalton snaps the ball, and he throws it into significant coverage and…TYLER BOYD CATCHES THE BALL. GO! MOVE TO THE ENDZONE. HURRY, PLEASE! TOUCHDOWN! OH MY GOD, THE BENGALS DON’T SUCK. Alright, but the Bengals Defense has been giving up points towards the end of the game, it’ll just be more heartbreaking for Bills fans when the Ravens…THEY WERE SHORT ON 4TH DOWN BY 1 YARD?!?! THE BILLS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS. THANK GOD! HOLY F*** THE DROUGHT IS OVER. IN YOUR FACE, HATERS! SCREW THE RAVENS, WOO!!! THE BILLS ARE IN THE POSTSEASON FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1999! WHO CARES IF THIS IS A 1 AND DONE, THIS IS WORTH IT! OH, AND THEY PLAY THE JAGUARS SO THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN A PLAYOFF GAME AS WELL! HAPPY NEW YEARS BILLS FANS, FOR ALL AQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT…(Goes Way Longer Than You Care To Read).

Sorry to the Ravens on a disappointing end to your season, but not sorry enough to not post this.

 

 

 

 

 

6 Teams, 3 Spots: Understanding Week 17 For Dummies and Browns Fans

Welcome to NFL Week 17 Sunday, w most of you have been waiting for all season long. Destiny’s will be fulfilled, Dreams will be crushed, and teams who’ve fates have already been revealed can spoil the course of football present for some unfortunate franchise. 9 Teams have already locked their spot in someway or another, while 17 franchises have come to accept that today ends their 2017 season. By 8:00 PM (Which is early, but unfortunately necessary because no matchup is guaranteed to be meaningful no matter the other outcomes), we will know who is playing who during next week’s Wild Card matchups, who’ll be getting a beneficial rest for the upcoming matchups (technically only 1 other team has not yet be determined for this. Patriots, Steelers and Eagles have already clinched their respective “winter break”), and which fans will be jumping ship in January for their respective playoff bandwagons. I’m not going into seeding for teams already in the postseason because honestly very little changes between 1 and 2, along with 3, 4, and 5. There are small advantages in those groups, but nothing the average fan needs to concern themselves with. I’ll be covering the Ravens, Titans, Bills, Chargers, Falcons, and Seahawks scenarios and potential outcomes. I’m not including ties in these outcomes because it’ll be unlikely you’ll need to know the scenarios. News Flash: Teams Don’t Play To Tie, They Play To Win…Or Draft.

If a tie becomes a reality in any of these WC scenarios, I’ll apologize and cover it on Twitter (@UltimateFumble) to make everyone aware of the possibility. If 2 outcomes mentioned apply, the more detailed outcome and/or the outcome listed higher on the team’s respective list applies. Here We Go.

NFC

Atlanta Falcons

Win Vs. Panthers: 6 Seed

SEA Loss to Cardinals: 6 Seed

None of Above Happens: It’s 28-3 All Over Again, As It’ll End the Season in Disappointment.

Seattle Seahawks

Loss to Cardinals: Legion of Losers, Season’s Over

ATL Beats Panthers: Intercepted at 1 Yard Line, Season’s Over

None of Above Happens: 6 Seed

Was That So Hard? Didn’t Think So. This is Basic Math Compared to the AFC. Ready, Here We Go:

AFC

Baltimore Ravens

Win vs Bengals: 5 Seed

BUF Loss To Dolphins: 6 Seed

TEN Loss to Jaguars: 6 Seed

BUF Loss + Ten Loss: 5 Seed

None of Above: 2017 Season, Nevermore

Tennessee Titans:

Win vs Jaguars: 6 Seed

Win + BAL Loss: 5 Seed

BUF Loss + LAC Win: Just 1 Yard Short, Season’s Over

LAC Loss + BUF In: No Miracle For You, Season’s Over

BUF Loss + LAC Loss: 6 Seed

Buffalo Bills:

BUF Loss To Dolphins: Fish Squished You, Season’s Over

BUF Win + BAL Loss: 6 Seed

BUF Win + BAL Loss + TEN Loss: 5 Seed

BUF Win + TEN Win + LAC Win: Make That 18, Season’s Over

BUF Win + TEN Loss + LAC Win: You Did This To Yourselves, Season’s Over

BUF Win + LAC Loss + TEN Win: Damn You Mariota, Season’s Over

BUF Win + TEN Loss + LAC Loss: 6 Seed

Los Angeles Chargers:

LAC Loss To Raiders: Black Hole Sucked You In, Season’s Over

TEN Beats Jaguars: Rams Win LA’s Conditional Love, Season’s Over

BUF Win + BAL Loses: I’m Sorry To Tell Your Paid “Fans”, Your Season’s Over

None Of Above Occurs: 6 Seed

That’s The Best I Can Do, So Enjoy Your Week 17, Happy New Year, and By God Please Buffalo End The Drought!!! Oh Right…I just explained how they don’t control their own destiny. Well, in that case, Don’t Blow It.