Breaking Down NFL Week 10 (SUPER EASY QUIZ!!!)

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So, this is the NFL we live in now. Don’t get me wrong the NFC seems to be a very scary division to be in right now, and it seems there are 7-8 teams actually competitive for 6 spots remaining. Although in the AFC…15?!?! Teams have a legitimate route to the postseason as of right now. The 3-7 Colts are the seconds worst team in the conference based on record and the mediocrity of this conference gives them opportunity to win out and legitimately make the postseason. Right now, it looks like 9-7 will get an AFC team in the postseason and even then 9 teams can at most afford to lose twice in the upcoming 7 week slate to be 9-7. Actually, most teams can only afford to lose once more, as 5 of the 9 teams already have 6 losses, not including the Colts who have 7 losses. If this mediocrity keeps up, the Steelers and Patriots could clinch before Week 14 and 8-8 might have to be seriously considered as a threshold.

This week’s breakdown will done differently than previous weeks. I was watching SNL clips on Sunday Morning and got the idea from this Weekend Update segment on sexual harassment in the workplace.

NO, NO, don’t worry no one in the NFL has been accused recently…yet. It seems these questions have very obvious answers, and I feel that that could be summed up very well in Week 10. I am going to list the games in question for Week 10 (No TNF as usual, but MNF will be included going forward). The question for each game is what’s the biggest takeaway. I’m not going to tell you the answers, as this is not a hard quiz. DEEP DOWN, WE ALL KNOW THE CORRECT ANSWERS. So here we go with your Week 10 NFL Breakdown.

New York Jets 10 vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 15

A. Josh McCown had a bad game, he’s the Jets future.

B. ITS FITZPATRICK TIME IN TAMPA, BABY!!!

C. Tampa was lucky they played the Jets, who are finally hitting their wall and continuing there downward spiral in QB purgatory.

D. The New York Jets organization felt bad for the Giants and gave them an opportunity to be the sole NY winner of Week 10 as pity.

Pittsburgh Steelers 20 vs. Indianapolis Colts 17

A. Steelers are slipping up, its only a matter of time until the Ravens claw to the Top.

B. The Colts are finally threatening and this game will be the final loss of 2017.

C. The Steelers could’ve played better Football Sunday, but this shouldn’t affect them going forward.

D. Colts players felt dejected after hearing more about the ongoing George Takei allegations. Oh My.

Cincinnati Bengals 20 vs. Tennessee Titans 24

A. AJ Green’s sole goal is to make Jalen Ramsey suffer, and orchestrated the coaching staff to blow the game at the end to keep the Titans on pace to the win the AFC South.

B. Watch Out Patriots, Titans are coming for the AFC.

C. The Titans took out a very beatable Bengals team and barring a collapse should have at least one additional game this season.

D. Bengals fans care about their team

New Orleans Saints 40 vs. Buffalo Bills 3

A. This is the inevitable collapse of the Bills, who are doomed to never make the postseason in anyone’s lifetime.

B. The New Orleans Defense is the best in the NFL.

C. The Bills loss is concerning, but was against a HOF QB with a decent team around him that could even threaten the Eagles in another Super Bowl run #PotentialDenial

D. 6 Rushing Touchdowns is a normal amount of rushing touchdowns to allow in any game, Right?

Cleveland Browns 24 vs. Detroit Lions 38

A. Kizer getting hurt was the biggest blow to Cleveland since LeBron James initially left years ago.

B. Stafford is a Hall of Fame QB for what he did to the Browns Defense.

C. A 0-16 Browns Season is looking more and more inevitable.

D. What’d you talking about, the Browns are undefeated. Also, Kevin Spacey and Louis CK are still beloved.

New York Giants 21 vs. San Francisco 49ers 31

A. The Giants are heading for a long playoff drought, start rooting for the Jets.

B. Who needs Garroppolo, CJ Beathard for LIFE!!!

C. The 49ers were bound to win once with all of the close finishes they’d be dealing with this year.

D. The Giants decided that Week 10 was too early to have a team mathematically eliminated from postseason contention. (49ers would’ve been the first team with that distinction this year with loss this week).

Houston Texans 7 vs. Los Angeles Rams 33

A. Why was Jared Goff benched last year? Jeff Fisher would still be Head Coach.

B. Robert Woods is Hollywood’s next sensation

C. The Rams are a competitive team and the Texans started Tom Savage. Any Questions?

D. Houston has a World Series already, that’s enough.

Green Bay Packers 23 vs. Chicago Bears 16

A. Aaron Rodgers, step aside. Its Hundley time in Green Bay.

B. Well, it was good while it lasted, Mitchell Trubisky.

C. The Bears got greedy on that challenge, which ultimately prevented this game from going into overtime.

D. The Bears have a Black Sox level scandal, as while the Packers won the game, Bears players earned themselves new Ferraris for losing.

Minnesota Vikings 38 vs. Washington Redskins 30

A. “Screw Bridgewater, Case Keenum is our Franchise QB Now.” -Vikings Management

B. Kirk Cousins needs to be benched after his abysmal 3 TD (1 Passing, 2 Rushing) day.

C. The Packers downfall has given the Vikings a 1 year window for a chance to win their first Super Bowl.

D. The Redskins will continue to lose games from this point forward until they change the name of their team.

Los Angeles Chargers 17 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars 20

A. The Chargers are unable to finish most game due to the San Diego gypsy curse of 2/6/17.

B. Jacksonville’s fans were enough to carry th… Okay, this answer is wrong. The Jacksonville Jaguars don’t have fans.

C. The Jaguars were handed this game by the Chargers, who are currently in process of pre-handing the following game against the Bills due to Rivers decision to enter concussion protocol (Long Term = Good Decision, Short Term = Likely Season Killer).

D. LA needed a distraction from the UCLA scandal involving LiAngelo Ball.

Dallas Cowboys 7 vs. Atlanta Falcons 27

A. This is Ezekiel Elliott’s fault for delaying his suspension

B. This is the NFL’s fault for suspending Elliott in the first place.

C. The Cowboys have significant issues that go beyond the suspended RB.

D. This is somehow Colin Kaepernick’s fault.

New England Patriots 41 vs. Denver Broncos 16

A. TOM BRADY WILL BE GREAT FOREVER!!!

B. The Patriots are the most dominant team in football again.

C. Brock Osweiler is not a good QB, although the Patriots are becoming more intimidating each week.

D. The Patriots are deflating balls while spying on the Broncos playbooks in collusion with Russia against Donald Trump and somehow Jimmy Kimmel is the main orchestrator of all of this. #Cheatception

Miami Dolphins 21 vs. Carolina Panthers 45

A. Monday Night Football had the most exciting game of the week, like always.

B. If Matt Moore started the season at QB, the Dolphins would be beating the Patriots.

C. This was never a season the Dolphins could realistically make a playoff run with a Week 1 bye and losing their franchise QB to injury in training camp. The fact they’re still in it even with this loss is impressive.

D. Cam has earned his Yogurt Commercial deal back, as his play was clearly the main issue.

 

Monday Headlines for NFL Sunday Week 10

Welcome to Monday Headlines on UltimateFumble.com. These articles will make predictions for the upcoming NFL Sunday matchups by predicting the headline that will show up relating to that game. All Publications are welcome to use these headlines if they’re applicable. Starting with Week 7, Monday Headlines currently has a 17-18 record. Without further ado, Let’s Get Started.

New York Jets vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Decommissioned Score:

Jets 14, Buccaneers 20

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Indianapolis Colts: Big (Day) Ben

Score: Steelers 31, Colts 10

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Tennessee Titans: Murray Mauling

Score: Bengals 17, Titans 42

New Orleans Saints vs. Buffalo Bills: Saints Are Crawling In

Score: Saints 7, Bills 24

Cleveland Browns vs. Detroit Lions: Seriously, What’d You Think Happened!

Score: Browns 13, Lions30

New York Giants vs. San Francisco 49ers: King of San Francisco

Score: Giants 24, 49er 3

Houston Texans vs. Los Angeles Rams: Savagely Beaten

Score: Texans 14, Rams 13

Minnesota Vikings vs. Washington Redskins: Kirk-ing Yourself

Score: Vikings 31, Redskins 16

Dallas Cowboys vs. Atlanta Falcons: Jones Call

Score: Cowboys 21, Falcons 34

New England Patriots vs. Denver Broncos: Brock Bottom

Score: Patriots 41, Broncos 31

The NFL Schedulers Apparently Should be Incarcerated in this Thursday Night Football Recap

Yep, that was a long title, but that was the main takeaway in this Thursday night matchup between the capable Seattle Seahawks, and the sad, desperate, and beaten Arizona Cardinals. Ending=No Shocker. The only thing that makes us even remotely care about this game was that CB Richard Sherman is out for the remainder of the season with a torn ACL. Ouch, at least its not as bad as this:

Carpenter

Seriously that’s a castration device, which was tweeted by Dan Carpenter’s wife when the newly injured CB made a clearly dirty hit on the kicker just before halftime on Monday Night Football. No response has been made from Kaela yet, but I don’t think she will be crying an ocean in this recent development. This injury is going to hurt the Seattle defense, but this team is still on track for a postseason birth, although the division window might’ve gotten wider for the LA Rams.

Anyways, there was a comment that keeps repeating a similar theme in recent weeks. Doug Baldwin made a comment on how Thursday Night Football should be illegal.

Smart Business Decision: Questionable

Entertaining Most of the Time: Oh God No!

Entertaining Some of the Time: Nope

Entertaining on Rare Occasions:…I’ll Give You That One.

To say TNF is illegal though, definitely not. The NFL has TNF to create more nationally televised games beyond SNF and MNF. This scheduling decision allows the NFL to put every team in primetime at some point in the season. Yes, even the Browns deserve a chance to be in the national spotlight. These games allow all the lower caliber teams to have public exposure, which doesn’t lead to the same few teams getting all of the national attention and glory. It highlights good players on bad teams, and puts teams who’d have a playoff caliber record (Bills) to play once in front of national audience so they aren’t confused when you see them in January (Trust me, one of these days I’ll be right on this).

Doug, I’m sorry your friend and teammate is hurt right now, but you also won the game this week. Seriously, Richie Incognito complained, but that was clearly trying to rationalize losing to the Josh McCown led J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS (I’m Dead Inside). Please just take the win, calm down, drink a warm glass of milk, get through the rest of the season, make the playoffs, lose to in the Wild Card round because your team isn’t talented enough to beat the Vikings, make it to the offseason, and if you still have TNF complaints we can address them for the 2018-2019 season.